Why I’m ashamed of the 81.5%

There are 3846 people in the White Oak ward of Swanley, Kent that should be absolutely ashamed of themselves. In fact, lets not beat around the bush, you’re a bunch of lazy idiots! Why? Simple, the powers that be organised a by-election for the town council, and the turnout was a pathetic 18.5%, meaning approximately 3846 people couldn’t be arsed to vote. Like I said, pathetic!

The result was 409 votes to the Conservative candidate and 464 to the Labour candidate, and putting aside the fact that I regard the Labour party with the same level of respect as Hitler. No wait, that’s not fair on Hitler! I think it is wrong that the 55 vote majority of the Labour candidate was thus representative of 275 votes should the turnout have been 100%.

So should we change the voting system? No, it actually works quite well, what I therefore propose is that we fine anybody who doesn’t vote. £50 or one weeks benefits if you are in receipt of any (Whichever is greatest). You don’t have to vote for a candidate, you just have to go and have your name ticked off the list. Remember you stupid people, once upon a time, you didn’t have the vote (which was possibly a good thing), but now you do… So use it!

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